Tuesday, August 23, 2011


How do you ever heal in this life
if you never let the wounds stay closed?
How does your resolve fade away
if you never had a spine in the first place?
When lies and heartache are your currency
it doesn't matter what your intent is or was.
I have whittled away every visage of your countenance
only to be tortured by inescapable thoughts of madness.
You were a weapon of choice I could not stand against.
All my powers of deduction rendered ineffectual.
An army of spirit warriors by my side could not save me.
Shattered confidence on the shores of self-discovery.
Alone in a sea of desperate narcissists and mental invalids
I just want to breathe the soft air of kindness again.
Feel the lasting embrace of someone dear.
Someone to rebuild the wreckage with and reclaim the chi.
I want to smile on the outside and be more than a mannequin.
Shallow footsteps echo the coldness of a reality I snap back to.
My face is ever the convenient liar, apologizing for
the many fallacies I perpetuate just to stay alive.
Is this the meaning of life or a life worth wasting?
Do I hit bottom with a grin or rise once more?
To ask the question is as damaging as anything I must endure.
I'll never know as long as the screaming in my ears
drowns out all reason, passion and peace.

It wouldn't be so bad if I could just scratch my nose...

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